Valentines Day

So here we are on Valentine's day. When I think how many years I longed for a valentine's card and never received one....and now I am an old married woman and really, it doesn't matter. Yes, I like it when Chris brings me flowers and cards, when he spoils me and shows me how much he loves me, but valentine's itself doesn't have the same impact. Why? Because I KNOW I am loved. I know everyday and I no longer need to look to valentine's to see if someone loves me. I am loved always. Chris loves me of that I am sure. God loves me with an everlasting love. A love that sustains. A love that is faithful. What does it mean to love? Well for that we have to look to the old well-used bible passge, a favourite for use in weddings. It is found in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13 verses 4-7

"Love is patient, love is kind, It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

It challenges me about my relationships. How does my love compare to these standards? When I'm tired and demanding, or think..."I can't be bothered"...does that echo Christ's love to Chris, to my children, to my friends? to strangers?? Of course we can never compare to Christ's perfect love, but it is a good standard to aim for. I am reminded this Valentine's day that I should strive to love in an unselfish and undemanding way.

I often have moments of thinking I'm unlovable, or unlovely and yet I AM loved. And contrary to popular belief; its ok to love yourself too. That's something I definately need to work on. I have to say that 99% of the time, I don't love myself. I don't think I'm lovely. I KNOW that God loves me just because he does, but sometimes its hard to understand. I was talking to a friend this morning who was saying that she had bought herself a valentine's gift, because she loved herself so much (You know who you are!!!). I'm sure that it was tongue in cheek but it did make me stop and think. Do I love myself? I don't mean in a narcissistic way, but do I recognise that I am loveable, do I recognise in myself, my Creator's unique design? Eeek, thats something I need to work on. I think the reality is that I don't love myself in a healthy way. I struggle to recognise in myself any good points. I can talk and chat and have fun with people. I can appear strong and in control, but I don't like to talk about myself (ok...well maybe except on this blog) because when I stop and think; I don't like what I see.