Weary

I know its been such a long time since I last wrote. I've been rather busy with the "humdrum" of life so to speak. Children to play with, wipe, feed, get to bed, chores to be done; all examples of good and neccessary things that whilst indeed humdrum, make life all the more pleasant for having done them. I'm just beginning to realise that I'm not superwoman! That I don't have to be able to do anything and that life with 3 small children (5, 3 and 1) is indeed long, hard and tiring. Yes its fun, yes its wonderful, priceless and I wouldn't swap it for anything; but the daily "stuff" is sometimes physcially hard going.

When people ask me how I manage with 3, I just smile and say its fine. Which indeed it is. What else can I do? I can't give one of them back, so I just keep going forward knowing that things will change, that the days of little ones will pass me by all too quickly. The reality of life is that Yes, life is fine, we are all healthy, we are all happy, we all have the things we need and indeed some of the things that we want; but on top of that, I have a 3 yr old daughter who has rarely slept a night in her own bed since she was born, a 5 year old who I don't get to spend nearly as much time with as I should, reading to him, playing with him, cuddling him, talking with him, and a 1 year old beautiful son who spends most of his day f0llowing me around because Mummy never sits still long enough for a long cuddle!! I love my children each and every one of them. I am incredibly proud of them and thank God each day for the blessing that he has given me with 3 relatively uncomplicated (although quirky in their own ways!) children. But right now, I feel wearly. The reality of life with 3 babies (yes, I still think of my 5 yr old as a baby) is hitting me and I think my body is saying enough! enough! enough!

Its only March and I am already in need of a holiday! I am desperately looking forward to our annual trip to New Wine, where we are physcially and spiritually rested and refreshed each year. I can't tell you how much of a blessing it is to be able to spend one week watching the children grow at such a rate in their relationships with God, to sit and rest a while with some very dear friends, to "get back to nature". I do love camping, it is relaxing, it is wonderful with no t.v., no phones, no "gadgets" (except the camp cooker which I'm sure you'll agree is an absolute neccessity). I love being able to just sit, read, watch the children play, pray with friends, chat with friends, play swingball. I think I need it now. God - can you just speed up a time a little bit???

Alternatively, I'll go back to the place where I find my rest. I'll delve into my bible and sit and be still with God and allow him to refresh me right here, right now.